Struggling with new cat

Thursday, 31 May 2012
Those of you that are regulars will know that 6 months ago we lost our beloved cat, Bozzy.  He meant the whole world to me, even though I only knew him the latter years of his life.

On Tuesday we adopted a new cat, Bobby, from the RSPCA.  He's a 14 month old tabby cat.  The thing is, I'm struggling.  I keep crying and wanting Bozzy.  I feel in complete inner turmoil, I go to bed feeling sickly and wake up exactly the same.  I play with him and interact with him but I'm detached from emotions and feel empty, nothing.

People keep telling me it's normal and takes time, but I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be ready to accept another cat into my life and home.

I know Bobby has done nothing wrong, he's a sweet enough thing, but I don't know what to do.

I don't want to be like this and I'm scared.

Please can anyone help me?


  1. Elaine said...:

    Hi Sarah,
    Been there and done that hunni!
    Each cat has it's own personality and you'll soon get used to having Bobby in your home and you will love him for his own personality and behaviour. Another cat will never replace Bozzy in your heart, but you will come to love Bobby too.
    It just takes a little time but it will come.
    Big Hugs
    Elaine xxx

  1. Squirrel x said...:

    Hey sweetie, do you want to email me darlin' - Hugs Sxx

  1. rosie said...:

    hello Sarah
    I know exactly how you feel. I was the same. the same churning feeling in the stomach. its normal hun.
    you are still grieving for Bozzy and in no way are you replacing him with Bobby.
    it takes time to get used to a new pet and you have only had him a few days.
    don't worry its a perfectly normal feeling and anyone who has lost a pet will know exactly what you are going through.
    you will soon get used to Bobby and remember also he has to get used to you and Jon too.
    time is a great healer and only if you give it time then that will slowly and surely turn to love. Bozzy will be with you always and Bobby will heap love and affection upon you for rescuing him.

    it just takes time

    hugs to you all x

  1. Hi Sarah,

    We adopted a 13 week old kitten (now she is 3-1/2 yrs old) after having our other cat for 19 years. I wasn't sure that I was ready for another cat but it has been the best thing we ever did. We weren't replacing our other cat - we were giving an otherwise 'unwanted and unloved' cat a new home. Many cats never get a 2nd chance and your cat is so lucky to have you give him a second chance at having a new home. Just give it some time. It is perfectly normal to grieve over an animal and you will ALWAYS miss and love Bozzy. But don't let it stop you from loving another cat as I am sure that isn't what Bozzy would want. Bozzy would want you to love your new cat just as much as you loved him as he would know how special that made him feel. You are not betraying him by adopting another cat. It takes time for a new cat to get used to you too and to a different home. Give him a chance to show his personality - play with him and give him lots of pats - he will settle in more quickly that way as he will be reassured.

    {{hugs}} across the miles -
    Instead of Ironing Blogspot

  1. Stephanie said...:

    Oh sweetheart don't be too harsh on yourself, your feelings are perfectly natural....I think that having a new cat around is just bringing out the last stage of your grieving process. Give yourself some time, Bobby will soon find a place in your heart I'm sure *hugs* xxx p.s. I love the photo's of your sister's wedding :)

  1. rosie said...:

    hello Sarah
    how you are you doing?
    hope you are okay x

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